The Crossbones Finale

Crossbones aired its final episode, and by final, we’re talking end of show. It’s not surprising they decided to cancel. While I found some of the drama compelling and Malkovich’s scene chewing fun to watch, the plot meandered between different characters without really settling in. What was touted as the MacGuffin, the chronometer, was quickly disposed of rather anti-climatically in, oh, the third or fourth episode, leaving me flapping worse than a loosened sail. It popped up again in the finale and I have no idea how it wound up in the hands of the Spanish fleet. I really would have liked to have learned more about Lowe’s past as the king’s spy, more about Blackbeard himself, or more from Charlie Rider. He grew on me and I was glad to see him surface and kick ass in the final battle. Charlie, mate, take yon red coat and head on over to New Providence and join Flint’s crew.Crossbones, Blackbeard, Charlie Ryder

I expressed my dislike in a previous post over the liberties taken with historical fact surrounding Blackbeard’s life, and still believe the show creators could have incorporated the facts about Blackbeard better, if they were going to use him at all. The show professed to be based off of Colin Woodard’s book, The Republic of Pirates, but I saw no resemblance whatsoever to the book. Once again, why not just create a new pirate character? I guess they thought Blackbeard’s name attached to the show would bring in more viewers, which is true, but for me it detracted from the show.

While I liked Kate Balfour in the beginning, she really began annoying me toward the end. So self-righteous toward Lowe, as if she bore no responsibility for her actions. And her attempt to abort her and Lowe’s unborn child because she didn’t think her husband, James Balfour, could stand another tragedy just struck me as another plot device to increase drama and conflict. Who knows? Maybe they began that subplot before knowing the show would be canceled. I was surprised at how neatly they wrapped everything up, making me think they had an alternate ending already shot and ready to go when word came down about the cancellation.

I was actually okay with Selima’s fate. (This was actually the best use of the highly derivative, yet pretty freaky Antoinette.) Selima failed to stir any emotions in me beyond distaste. I didn’t get her at all, and once again, could be because of the failure to develop the secondary characters. Case in point, and I apologize once again for the Black Sails comparison, take Max from Black Sails. She went through some pretty heinous sh@&* as the pirate sex slave. When she escaped that situation, coming out stronger and tougher to challenge the brothel madame, I liked her loads more than in the first few episodes because I could empathize with her choices after the horrible experience.

The only person who seemed to really go through some heinous sh@%$ on Crossbones was Lowe and the constant threat of death. And let’s discuss that more shall we, because I never believed for a second, in the what? three times they almost killed him, that they would actually really killl him. The plot device grew old fast. And what was the point with trepanning Blackbeard’s skull except to make my intestines shrivel and squirm?

So in the end Blackbeard walks off into the sunset. Who’s shriveled head did Lowe deliver to the Brits in Jamaica? And is Lowe a pirate now? Will he and James Balfour share daddy duties to Kate’s child? I guess we’ll never know.

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