Ghoulish Tens: Masters of Horror

Happy Halloween!! Love this!giphy

For my final entry in my Ghoulish Tens, I tackle the Masters of Horror television series. Airing for two seasons in 2005 to 2006 on Showtime, each episode was directed by a notable horror director. Of the two seasons, these ten episodes are my favorite. If you like horror, you must check this series out. Some of the best horror broadcast on television. Unlike my other ten lists, I have listed these episodes in order with the first being my favorite and so on.

mastersofhorrorcigaretteburnsposterCigarette Burns by John Carpenter. So John Carpenter, you know, that guy who directed Halloween and The Thing. There’s a subtle beauty to some of John Carpenter’s movies. There are no gory scenes in Halloween, yet when I think of that movie, I seem to remember lots of gore. The entire hour of Cigarette Burns, Carpenter builds the tension with some crazy horrifying shit while a guy searches for a movie called “Le Fin Absolue du Monde” (Absolute End of the World) that’s supposed to drive people insane after watching it. A weird deformed man, an act of slasher brutality and you’re just wondering, what the hey! Kind of like the Ring, but I must say when you actually see images from Le Fin Absolue du Monde, well, suffice it to say, unlike the Ring, I had to remind myself this is a friggin tv show and I’m not going to go crazy.

The Fair-Haired Child by William Malone. Malone hasn’t directed any films I’ve liked: House on Haunted Hill remake and Feardotcom, but OMG. Can he please make a movie like this short? I loved this one. Once again, some great pathos. Tragic, horror. And awful (in a good way), wonderful performance by Lori Petty as the mom.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road by Don Cascorelli (Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep). I didn’t think I’d like this one. I’m not so much into the slasher chase through the woods. But Cascorelli definitely grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. Not even when I was squirming on the couch at what the slasher dude did with his victims did Cascorelli lessen his grip. I’ve seen movies with captured victims, agonizingly awaiting their fate like Saw, but unlike Saw, this one got to me. Maybe it was the freaky old dude imprisoned with our protagonist in the basement of horrors or the bits of her compelling back story sprinkled in to great effect. The ending provided a neat twist that I did not see coming, which is refreshing because I often figure out horror movie twists. (I figured out The Sixth Sense in the first five minutes.)

Haeckel’s Tale directed by John McNaughton. Here we have American Werewmastersofhorrorhaeckelstaleposterolf in London werewolf (John McNaughton) directing an episode based off a Clive Barker story. Clive Barker is a sick dude who I am morbidly fascinated with. Haekel’s Tale has zombies, creepy babies, sensual horror, gothic horror and I’ll let your imagination go to work. And really, when weird shit is going down, just do not go into a cemetery at night. Do. Not.

MastersofHorrorJeniferposter

Dario Argento is another sick dude. (I say this, like with Clive Barker, with the utmost respect.) If you haven’t seen Suspira…what can I say. Argento builds these beautiful horror glam rock tableaus with his movies. His entries, Jenifer and Pelts, are horror absurd. Jenifer is a weird blend of camp, beautiful gruesomeness. Here we have men who become obsessed with a horribly disfigured woman (or whatever the heck she is!) who has a taste for entrails. Pelts is also Argento-wonderful starring Meatloaf and vengeful raccoons, but I liked Jenifer better.

Family by John Landis. I love that the guy who directed Animal House also directed one of the best horror movies ever, American Werewolf in London. But you get it because he uses his humor sensibilities to great effect in his horror movies. Here he takes his quirky voice to a tale about George Wendt as a completely psycho dude who, unlike the rest of us who marry and have kids, builds his family a bit differently. Really, he’s just a big teddy bear. The ending is also a karma-pleasing surprise.

The Black Cat by Stuart Gordon who also did Re-Animator. Based off the Black Cat, this entry is just a great Edgar Allen Poe homage in which Poe himself succumbs to the insanity of his own tale. Great gothic portrayal with a wonderful performance by Jeffrey Combs as Poe. Gordon also directed the entry, Dreams in the Witch House, a nice H.P. Lovecraft adaptation with a phantasmagoric rat and a truly sad, horrific ending, which really kind of freaked me out.

Sounds Like directed by Brad Anderson who directed Session 9 and The Machinist. If you’ve seen the Machinist, you can get an idea of the human degradation focused on the body theme in Sounds Like. Anderson’s movies are not outright horror, but build up to horrifying endings, although I’d have to say the entirety of Session 9 creeped me out. In Sounds Like, Sheriff Andy Bellefleur, (Chris Bauer of True Blood), plays, Larry Pearce, a man going crazy because he can hear everything, every little thing. What I like is, despite Pearce’s tragic back story, he isn’t someone we route for. I think he was pretty messed up even before the tragedy hit his family.

Sick Girl by Lucky McKee. Horror and bugs are truly a bad (in the good sense) combination. Sick Girl is about Ida, an entomologist, and what happens when one of her bugs bites her girlfriend. I always find transformation movies interesting a la The Fly or Altered States. Not as “buggy” as The Fly, yet the psychological horror will creep you out.

Pick Me Up by Larry Cohen. The Freddie vs Jason and Predator vs Alien movies became popular. Now we have a more “grounded” approach when two serial killers fight it out over who gets to kill someone in a seedy motel. Fairuza Balk, who can turn on the freaky camp (see her in The Craft) is the “hapless” victim caught in the middle of the competitive serial killers, who each have their own methods of stalking their victims. Michael Moriarty does a delightful turn as one of the killers. Forget, Law and Order!!

Ghoulish Tens: Movie Monsters

2708424367_242ceeb7e7

Awww, ain’t he cute? Tooth fairy from Hellboy II.

It’s time for another list, this time featuring our favorite, ghoulish movie monsters. I’m not including Godzilla, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, King Kong, Jaws, and wolf man. (I make one exception with regards to werewolves as noted below.) As much as I love these crazy guys, I wanted to take an eclectic look at some more modern yet still classic creatures. Once again, the list is in no particular order. Please sound off in the comments and add your own favorites and check out my Pinterest for some images of the monsters.

Pinhead from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Iconic. A creepy sadomasochist. “I will tear your soul apart.” “We have such sights to show you.” I’m morbidly fascinated. Pinhead is the leader of the Cenobites, Theologians of the Order of the Gash, “ageless experimenters in the higher reaches of pleasure.” Really messed up monks. Read Clive Barker’s Hellbound Heart. It’s great and introduces aspects to the story not explored in the movie. I don’t know what it is about Clive Barker’s chilling ability to write about human’s relationship to their own flesh.

Alien Xenomorphs. Talk about awesome, ass-kicking design inspired by the surrealist H.R. Giger. (Google H.R. Giger alien lithograph for some awesome images.) Oh yeah, acid blood.

Guillermo del Toro gets two entries because he is just awesome that way. (When will we get At the Mountains of Madness? Pretty please?) First creature is Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth. Eyeball hands. Eats children. Pan was also very creepy and dark, but to pick one truly hellish monster, hands down Pale Man. Did I mention he eats children?

And second are the teeth fairies from Hellboy II, pictured above. They are soooo cute, just keep them away from your teeth! I also love the Angel of Death pictured here from Hellboy II. Del Toro definitely has an eye fetish.hellboy-2-the-angel-of-death1

The flesh eating crawlers from the Descent. Have you seen this movie? Talk about claustrophobic horror. Must. See. Now. (I think you can stream on Netflix.) We don’t know the origin of the crawlers, how they evolved in the caves, but they are humanoid enough for my over-active and sometimes twisted mind to just go there…

Brundlefly from The Fly. Just uck. The wonderful special effects in transforming Jeff Goldblum into a vomiting insect. Horror and pathos. I’ve said it before, the best horror movies bring both together brilliantly. The way Cronenberg directed Jeff Goldblum’s transformation was like someone suffering from a terminal disease and mourning the loss of his relationship with Geena Davis. Sad, powerful stuff.

The thing from The Thing. This scene alone:

Man, I miss old school special effects.

Evil Dead‘s Naturon Demonto (Sumerian Book of the Dead) demons, most notably possessed tree. You can’t beat Sam Raimi for campy, no holds bared horror blood fest, but mostly I love how over the top his demon possessed people act.

David Naughton’s American werewolf from American Werewolf in London. My one exception to the werewolf exception. One of the best or just flat out the best transformations in movie special effects history.

The velociraptors from Jurassic Park. Spielberg made a great decision in featuring these guys in addition to the T Rex. The T Rex is a big brute, but the velociraptors are smart, pack hunters. Best quote from Robert Muldoon, Game Warden: “They show extraordinary intelligence, even problem-solving intelligence. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one… when she looks at you, you can see she’s working things out.”

Ghoulish Tens: Vampire Movies

Happy October!! It’s that time of year when I can indulge my predilection for creepiness and candy, and just chalk it up to Halloween 🙂 So to feed the inner ghoul, I’ll be posting Ghoulish Ten lists related to movies until Halloween. Next week I’ll cover the best movie monsters.

Vampire movies!

vampires, movies, best

I’m really not covering the classics here (despite the great Bela Lugosi pictured to the right) because I wanted to feature some less well-known, some more well-known, amazing films with an interesting take on vampires, or films that just rocked 🙂 So I didn’t include the Bela Lugosi Dracula or the Francis Ford Coppola version, Interview with a Vampire, and Nosferatu. They are classics that belong on every best list. I also didn’t rank the movies so they are in no particular order. I included pictures from the movies on my Pinterest page so click on over.

Lost Boys. Youth rebellion and Jim Morrison, Keifer Sutherland and his glam-rock vampire crew, Michael Patrick, gramps, and the great inter-play between Cory Feldman and Cory Haim, some great one-liners, 80s soundtrack, awesome!

Fright Night. Not the remake. I saw the remake. It was okay. When you don’t have Chris Sarandon playing Jerry Dandridge or the late, great Roddy McDowell as Peter Vincent or Evil Ed, what’s the point? The scene where Peter Vincent kills Evil Ed’s wolf creature was sublime. Perfect blend of horror and pathos. Possibly my favorite vampire movie.

Salem’s Lot, 1979 version. Beyond being one of the most terrifying television movies made, earns a spot simply for keeping me awake for at least a week after watching the scene where newly formed vampire Danny comes knocking on Mark Petrie’s window at night. Therapy. Lots.

Side notes. Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame directed Salem’s Lot. I read the Stephen King short story Jerusalem’s Lot, set in the same town as Salem’s Lot. Great short story! Just the line…”there are spiritually noxious places, buildings where the milk of the cosmos has become sour and rancid.” Thanks Stephen! I think.

Near Dark. The dark matter Twilight? Brutal. Biker western. Teen romance. Kathryn Bigelow directed. Bill Paxton as a blood-sucking sociopathic. ‘Nuff said.

Vampire’s Kiss. This was one of the Raising Arizona-Moonstruck-Wild at Heart-Nicholas Cage performances as opposed to the Ghost Rider-Season of the Witch-I’ll act in anything for money-Nicholas Cage. In it, Cage believes he is turning into a vampire. He even buys a pair of fake, plastic teeth and bites someone in a scene that perfectly straddles the line between horror and pathos, like Fright Night. (I find a certain level of perfection in scary movies that can strike those chords.) It’s billed as a dark comedy horror and it does have some great comedic moments but once again, just tragic, especially the ending, despite the fact that Cage’s character is pretty repulsive.

Let the Right One In. I heard Let Me In is really good in its own right with its own take so I’m adding it to my must see list. What stood out for me with Let the Right One In was the “realistic” take, the vampire being a young girl, and the focus on the relationship between her and her chosen male companions. She was both a ferocious vampire and lonely young girl, looking for companionship.

Cronos. Guillermo del Toro. Guillermo del Toro. The concept is unique and cool, about an alchemist who invents a scarab device that injects its victim with a solution granting eternal life and a thirst for blood. Guillermo has such a stylistic approach to his gore and monsters. He’s still trying to get his adaption of At the Mountains of Madness off the ground, and I, for one, have my fingers doubly crossed.

The Addiction. I love Lili Taylor. In The Addiction, she plays a philosophy student attacked and bitten by a female vampire. The movie explores her gradual transformation into a vampire and moral degradation. It explores philosophy as espoused by Nietzche and Decartes and whether the fault lies in the vampires being themselves and true to their addiction or in the weakness of their prey.

Shadow of the Vampire. A fictionalized account of the making of the Nosferatu classic with Willem DaFoe as Nosferatu and John Malkovich as the director, F.W. Murau. The premise plays out brilliantly. F.W. Murau hired a character actor, Max Schreck, a.k.a. our fiendish Nosferatu, to play said blood sucker and, because he’s so dedicated to his craft, while filming, he stays in character. The interactions between “Schreck” and the cast are sometimes funny with dark undertones. In one scene, a bat flies by and Schreck catches it and sucks its blood. The other actors are impressed by his dedication to his character. The filming harkens back to silent films. I cannot stress how amazing Willem DaFoe was as Nosferatu.

Blade. He rocks. And one of the first comic book movies released, after the atrocious Joel Shumacher Batman ones, to take comic books heroes down a darker path.

Movies I haven’t seen that sound intriguing: Kiss of the Damned (looks very sexy), John Carpenter’s Vampires (I was initially turned off by this movie, but am hearing good things about it and I do love John Carpenter.) 30 Days of Night. I know, what am I waiting for?

What are some of your favorites and why?

And don’t forget to check out my Pinterest site for pictures of these movies and some others I didn’t cover in the post!