Black Sails XXIX Recap

Black Sails has returned! For its final season šŸ™

While I’m excited to see these characters again, Iā€™m apprehensive about the fates of our scurvy crew. I donā€™t want to say good-bye yet respect goes out to the show creators for knowing when to end the story. More and more, shows tend to milk a series beyond its natural, respectable life and story and characters suffer for it.

If you havenā€™t read Treasure Island, the next paragraph contains some possible spoilers for Black Sails.

So last season wrenched my innards, seeing Charles Vane swing on the gallowsĀ and all, but well, he did in fact get hanged at Port Royal. And that is what makes me apprehensive about this season because nothing is going to end well for our cutthroats. The Golden Age of Piracy ends (pretty much with Woodes Rogers’s arrival in New Providence and Blackbeardā€™s death), but we also have the events of Treasure Island to consider. We’ve seen Silver transform into our beloved peg-legged Long John Silver. And Flint is already mad. He only lacks his stick.Ā 

Seriously show make it so. And Billy? Billy Bones. Sigh. I donā€™t know if Black Sails will give us a glimpse of Treasure Islandā€™s beginning in its series finale but wouldn’t it be cool to leave us with Silver sidling up to Jim Hawkins? I’d rather see that than poor Billy’s bones.

So much for endings. Our premiere gave us a roaring start. Who doesn’t love a good battle to get the blood pounding…and spraying. Yikes. Pretty clever that Woodes Rogers. Sinking ships to create a barrier unbeknownst to our brigands.

Romance or Bromance? One of the highlights of this show has been the dynamic between Silver and Flint, sometimes allies, and sometimes at odds, outwitting each other, Flint by pure force of will, and Silver by cunning. Their conversation before getting blown to bits deserves its place among the many fine bromances but alas, ā€˜tis not to last forever. Of course, we know Silver didn’t drown and he will rejoin our anti-heroesĀ but will it be in time to save his romance from the bromance? I mean, seriously, what was Madi thinking when she revealed to Flint and Billy that Silver told her the treasureā€™s location. That never ends well for people, when they get in Flintā€™s way.

Pirate History Check: As much as I’d love to hate on Woodes Rogers, the man displayed incredible determination and courage. He stood up to some formidable pirates, established order in New Providence all without much support from his peers. He did, in fact, overcome much adversity and did get deeply indebted as a result of having to finance his campaign in the Caribbean. This is the man who was a privateer during the war with France and Spain, who led an assault against a Spanish city, and had circumvented the world. I honestly donā€™t know what motivated him to take the actions he did only to get crapped onĀ by the lords proprietor (businessmen and nobility who basically administered much of the Caribbean and some of the colonies.). He did them a favor by driving out the pirates. Yes, he was governor but acted pro bono. Now before I completely romanticize the man, he was a slave trader. Iā€™ll leave it at that.

Wenches Behaving Bad-ass-ly? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, but you know, I just canā€™t forgive Eleanor for her role in Charlesā€™s demise. Seeing her knitting with the other wives was classic. At least the show acknowledged Eleanor’s knowledge of her own capitulation. She sold her soul. Iā€™m curious how much of her soul may be left, the girl running down the beach filled with pirates, not giving a damn about any of them. (If you remember Vaneā€™s description of her from Season One.) And Max, come on honey. At least Eleanor has accepted the futility of a womanā€™s independence and power in the face of true British aristocracy. British nobility is a bitch Max. Get used to it. Maybe you can darn some wool socks. At least we still have Anne Bonny.

Deep thoughts with Jack Rackham. This show has given some of the best lines to Jack Rackham. However, this episode Blackbeard got in a good line at Rackhamā€™s expense, when Rackham asked Blackbeard if they should say a few words to rouse the crew for battle. Blackbeardā€™s response was perfect, and very in line with what the real Blackbeard may have thought or said. I havenā€™t always agreed with the showā€™s portrayal of Blackbeard (Iron Beard), but Blackbeard ruled his ship by action, not words.

I do love, btw, all the love thrown Charlesā€™s Vaneā€™s way, from Jack to Blackbeard. In reality, Jack and Anne mutinied against Charles Vane and marooned him on an island. He was eventually picked up by the authorities and sent to Port Royal to be promptly hanged. So there you go. I like the showā€™s version better.

Blackbeard is badass. That’s right mo fos. Don’t fuck with Blackbeard. I got chills when Rogersā€™s man, Captain Berringer, or Mario Batalli, said Blackbeard is a formidable opponent. That’s right. Blackbeard was a literal fleet onto himself. The only pirate to blockade a major harbor for two weeks (Charleston). And he will kick your ass Mario. Iā€™m waiting for it. Make it so, show! Especially after Mario cut off De Grootā€™s ear. De Groot has not always supported Flint, but he ain’t no snitch against the brethern. Stickin’ it to the man!

I honestly donā€™t know why Silver didnā€™t just pretend to be dead and then grab a dagger or cutlass off a dead body and shank whoever it was going around killing off the men washed up on shore, but then we wouldnā€™t have our cliffhanger. But seriously will he make it back before Flint kills Madi because, really, her days are numbered.

Black Sails Episode XI recap

So many exiting things happened this episode and they left us with Flint ready to fire upon Vane in the fort. I can’t stand it. So until then…

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver was pretty quiet this episode because of the focus on Vane, Flintā€™s return to New Providence, and more beheadings, but he did manage to convince Flintā€™s crew to forgo the vote on whether or not to go carousing on New Providence. Silver explained how sailing into the bay with Spanish markings on their canvas was maybe not such a wise idea.

Number of Flint sneers. One managed to sneak out when he was berating Eleanor for acquiescing to Vane. I believe Miranda might have sneered at Eleanor as well.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. We learn he can be downright romantic. He leaves a bookĀ for Miranda with the words ā€œIā€™m sorryā€ written on the inside cover. We learn their affair began over a Spanish copy of Don Quixote. Our sociopath is quite the man of letters. Not quite so romantic, however, when the New Providence pirates learned about Gate’s untimely demise. (Flint’s quartermaster who he killed in the first season.) Eleanor was pretty freaked out when she found out Flint had killed Gates. The pirates hold fine lines between brutality and outright evil fuckery and killing one of your own crew without justification falls into the evil f&%$# category as we learned after Anne Bonny and Jack killed members of their own crew.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Eleanor tried to get the upper hand on Miranda, calling her too unremarkable to warrant a mention from Flint, but Miranda has years of high-handed, British upper-class bitchiness under her belt and hands Eleanor her ass. Miranda knows what Flintā€™s demons whisper at night. Iā€™d personally like to know what the both of them are smoking on that island, what local jimson weed causes one’s inner demons to whisper.

Miranda was quite the saucy wench. She basically seduced Flint back in London, showing up at his tidy apartment with very untidy thoughts. Back when women had little power, I hand it to those who took what they could, when they could. I especially liked when she told Flint about the whispers over her infidelities and how they didnā€™t bother her or her husband. Sooo, is she implying she has an open relationship with hubby? Or that hubby is oblivious? Time will only tell. Adding the flashbacks to Flint and Mirandaā€™s past havenā€™t broken up the pacing at all and have only added more depth to these characters.

On deck shenanigans.

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Vaneā€™s crew of natty dreads pictured above (these guys are impressive in their natty-ness) carried out quite the efficient suprizal, sneaking aboard New Lowā€™s ship and taking out the crew. It was quite satisfying when Low called out for Mr. HolmesĀ after he gave Vane some shade about having to come to his ship alone because his crew don’t respect him no more. Mr. Holmes don’t work here anymore. Boo yah! Well played Vane.

Pirate history check. When Vane shows Eleanor Ned Lowā€™s hostage, Eleanor tells him how Peter Ash, the Carolinas governor…(Iā€™m a bit confused at the Carolinas lumping here because I believe both North and South Carolina were split into separate colonies in 1712) Anyway, Ash had hung men he even suspected of piracy. It was actually pretty difficult for a colonial governor to try a man for piracy. Governors needed permission from the king to hold a piracy trial under their own authority. Piracy trials were under the jurisdiction of the Vice Admiralty so most pirates had to be shipped off to London. (This legal loophole was later resolved by legislators in London.) Some governors claimed the ability to act as representatives of the Vice Admiralty, but that was a stretch. In fact, Governor Spotswood of Virginia tried William Howard, one of Blackbeardā€™s quartermasters. Howard actually had a lawyer and called upon him, but through some legal shenanigans on Spotswood’s part, his lawyer was banned from the trial. Spotswood tried and convicted Howard, but later he was released as a result of a pardon. (From Blackbeard by Angus Konstam)

Episode MBP (most badass pirate).

Black Sails, episode XI, Charles Vane

Vane has quite the flowery script, he does. Writing in blood must inspire the inner calligrapher, at least I’m thinking that was his ink of choice.

Iā€™m sad to see Ned Low go even though it appears he existed to serve as a plot device, but we have Vane to give us the occasional beheading and savage reprisal when needed. Early in the episode, Low told Vane how he was an irrational blunt instrument with an instinct toward the extreme. Episode X, we learned how Flint has a dark, wild ā€œitā€. So while Low and Flint are ruled by their ā€œitsā€, Vane appears to be moreĀ rational and calculating in handling his ā€œitā€ or blunt instrument, unless Eleanorā€™s involved. His ā€œitā€ tends to get pretty fired up then. In fact, the romance writer in me has a theory about Vane, especially after Max asked him if he wanted to know how she stopped caring about Eleanor, and he responded with a very firm negative. Last season, Vane told the story of howĀ Eleanor used to sneak out to the beach and flaunt her little, 13 year-old self in front of the pirates, casting demure smiles that said, I own you. Well, one of those smiles stuck on Vane. Itā€™s possible Vane holds on to his affection for Eleanor to keep him from going full on Ned Low psycho. Whatever the reason, ā€˜tis very intriguing.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. We didnā€™t see him get more tortured, thankfully. But I did come across an interview with Tom Hooper, who plays Billy, and he provides some interesting insights into what is coming for our Billy. http://www.tvguide.com/news/black-sails-billy-dead-1079026/

Jack Rackham quote. To Anne Bonny, ā€œShe [Max] knows how to play the thing between your legs better than I.ā€ I called the threesome! Starz didnā€™t disappoint. Max got Vane to do some public displays of affection so Jack and Anne could return to piracy. I enjoyed the scene in which Jack and Anne lovingly discussed building their own crew, acquiring a piragua. I wonder, ultimately, what Maxā€™s stake is in all this. Is she really that into Anne?

So Vane now has Lowā€™s prized plunder in his possession, the daughter of Governor Peter Ash of the Carolinas. Anyway, we glimpsed Charleston (Charles Town at the time), South Carolina in the season teasers. My second pirate book is partly set in the Carolinas around this time, so Iā€™m excited to see Charles Town portrayed.

Eight blow my scuttlebutts because plot device Ned Low is gone, but overall awesomeness!

Black Sails is Back – Review

Season Two of Black SailsĀ has begunĀ and I shall savor it until Outlander comes back. The eight Outlander episodes did not even whet my appetite for some Jamie Fraser. Sigh. But dinna fash!! says my inner fan girl because we get this:Screen Shot 2015-01-24 at 11.03.06 PM

We have plenty oā€™ historical man flesh in Charles Vane, Long John Silver, Captain Flintā€¦(plenty oā€™ woman flesh too šŸ™‚

Last seasonā€™s final episode was fantastic. It was full of ass whooping and handing all around. Vane handed over Hornigoldā€™s ass, Flint got some ass handed to him, and Iā€™m sure Jack Rackham was concerned about getting anymore Anne Bonny ass after the New Providence pirates found out Rackham and BonnyĀ murdered members of their own crew.

Iā€™m waiting for my Billy Bones to come back. I know he will. Heā€™s in Treasure Island. I know he will. (If I write it enough times, he will come)

I came up with what I hope is a more fun way of reviewing/recapping, all leading up to a final Blow My Scuttlebutt Rating for the episode. So onward to episode IX.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. This dude has more lives than a flea bitten feline. He volunteers to join Flint in capturing the Spanish ship (to which Flint sneers, see below), and while they sneak about the companionway where the Spanish crew are sleeping, he not only catches a bottle before it wakes anyone, but he steals the alarm whistle hanging right above a sleeping manā€™s head.

Number of Flint sneers.Ā In watching the show, I found his sneers are inĀ proportion to hisĀ current predicament. When he’s in charge and confident, it’s full sneer ahead. This episode contained about four sneers. A low count for Flint, but heā€™s fighting his way back to his captaincy. I particularly liked the one where he tells,Ā Dufresne, that his former crew can F off for siding with a cowardly, sniveling shit of a mutineer. Those pirates were poetic. That just rolls off the tongue.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me.Ā I’m going with brilliant this episode, but dude belowĀ is probably going with delusional, especially when Flint proposes they capture the Spanish warship anchored off shore. That is a serious scar tattoo, btw.

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Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Max has evolved quite a bit since we first met her in season one. From sex slave to throwing shade against her former lover, Eleanor, now sheā€™s got her sights set on Anne Bonny. But her stunt in giving information to Ned Low about the Good Fortune (like, not!)Ā was quite the play. Eleanor was banking on another pirate, Hallandale, getting that prize. Max is stepping up her gameĀ and show sheā€™s not down with Eleanorā€™s power trip. Bring it on.Screen Shot 2015-01-24 at 11.08.56 PM

On deck shenanigans. Lots of them, from Flint raidingĀ the Spanish ship to Ned Low’s massacre of the Good Fortune‘s crew. (Wow. What an unfortunate name) I mean seriously, steer clear of any vessel named Good Fortune. You’re better off sailing on The Misfortune,Ā or like, The Bad News Pirates.

Pirate history check.Ā So we meet Ned Low, who appears to be based off of Edward Low, and from the historical accounts, was just as much an unrepentant sadist. The real Low reputedly tortured some prisoners by cutting off their lips before killing them. But that was an amuse bouche really. (Ha, amuse bouche…) Afterwards, he massacred over 60 Spanish prisoners before fleeing north toward the American coast. Based on the Black Sails Low’s story of cutting out someone’s tongue, seems they plan to draw on the historical Low’s brutal reputation. You don’t need to make this shit up.

Episode MBP (Most Badass Pirate). Itā€™s between Low and Flint with honorable mention to Vaneā€™s derriere. Flint, with a reluctant, Silver in tow, boarded the Spanish ship and almost single-handedly took it over. The man just donā€™t mess around Ā And really, he looks quite dashing in His Majesty’s Navy blues.Ā Iā€™m excited to see his backstory, meeting Miranda, and what events led him and Miranda to New Providence.Screen Shot 2015-01-24 at 10.58.17 PM

Jack Rackham quote:Ā He gets the best lines. After he gets the crap kicked out of him and the pirates, ah, relieved themselves on him, he encounters Anne in the brothel and tells her what happened, ending with: ā€œThey pissed on me.ā€

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero.Ā Alas, Billy hasnā€™t shown up yet but who is this new dude playing Dufresne? Apparently, the actor is Roland Reed, replacing Jannes Eiselen. Something about this actor’s beady eyes that rub me wrong. The old Dufresne had puppy dog eyes that just drew me in even when he was plotting against my favorite sociopath, Flint.

9 out of 10 Blow My Scuttlebutts: eight for lots of action plus one for unconventional pirate urinary habits.

Pirate Shenanigans: Black Sails and Crossbones Comparison

black-sailsJust like a spicy glass of wine or pecan praline ice-cream, I couldnā€™t resist a comparison of Black Sails and Crossbones. Regardless of what I think of either show, itā€™s super exciting to have two pirate shows on tv that are attempting a more serious, grounded take than say, Pirates of the Caribbean (which is still enjoyable if only to see Depp and Rush as Sparrow and Barbosa). Another show called Port Royal was supposed to go into production, but maybe they dropped it. (I think it was HBO) So tons of credit upfront to the creators and producers for giving us these shows!

First, I offer kudos to both shows for featuring strong female characters. We have Eleanor Guthrie, Max, and Anne Bonny from Black Sails; and Kate, Nenna, and Selima on Crossbones. These women are working hard to survive and carve out some semblance of independence and strength in a world where women were treated like chattel. And at least,Ā Black SailsĀ doesnā€™t try to make these women necessarily heroic or independent of the male-dominated social structure. They have to survive within that society, including sleeping with men to get what they want. I donā€™t believe for a second Blackbeard on Crossbones would be keeping Selima around with her refusing to sleep with him. For someone like Blackbeard, she has nothing to offer that he doesnā€™t already think he can do for himself. So maybe thereā€™s something else going on between those two the show hasnā€™t yet revealed.

Now the sheer nature of the pirate havens like New Providence and their looser hierarchies probably provided a smidgen more social space for women to be independent. Eleanor Guthrie is an interesting character, having taken over her fatherā€™s merchant trade and using that to gain power and influence. But she pissed off Charles Vane and Iā€™m excited to see that play out next season. Max is a prostitute yet she climbed out of becoming a literal slave to the pirates to a powerful force, running the brothel with Jack Rackham.

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Anne Bonny from Black Sails

The historical, Anne Bonny, and her female pirate counterpart, Mary Read, were truly fascinating figures.
Historical records show Bonny left a fairly prosperous life to marry a penniless sailor. When her father disinherited her, she and her husband moved to the Bahamas. Continue reading